Perjalanan Papua…

Seorang turis yang baru saja tinggal di Indonesia tepatnya di kota Medan ingin berpergian ke Papua. Dengan bahasa Indonesia yang masih terbata-bata dia menelepon sebuah agen perjalanan.

“Berapa lama perjalanan menuju Papua?” tanya turis kepada petugas.

“Sebentar, Tuan” jawab petugas sambil mencari-cari buku informasi.

“Oh, terima kasih,” jawab si turis sambil menutup telepon dengan wajah cerah.

Bahaya Nasi..

Hasil research yang baru saja kami
lakukan membuktikan bahwa makan nasi
ternyata tidak baik bagi kita.

Buktinya :

1. Nasi MENYEBABKAN KECANDUAN.
Responden
kami yang tidak makan nasi selama
sehari
saja akan kelaparan dan merasa sangat
ingin makan nasi lagi.

2. SETENGAH dari seluruh siswa
Indonesia
yang makan nasi nilainya ada di bawah
rata-rata kelas.

3. HAMPIR 99% KEJAHATAN terjadi dalam
waktu kurang dari 24-jam setelah
pelakunya mengkonsumsi nasi.

4. Suku-suku pada zaman batu yang tidak
pernah makan nasi terbukti TIDAK PERNAH
mengidap tumor, Alzheimer,
osteoporosis,
ataupun Parkinson.

5. Dokter melarang bayi yang baru lahir
untuk makan nasi. Hal ini menjadi bukti
bahwa nasi punya dampak berbahaya yang
sudah dibuktikan oleh ilmu kedokteran.

6. Nasi yang kering biasa dimakan oleh
ayam. Nah, sekarang anda perlu curiga
dari mana flu burung berasal.

7. Jumlah pemakan nasi di Indonesia
jauh
lebih banyak dibandingkan dengan jumlah
pemakan nasi di negara maju. Ini
mungkin
salah satu penyebab keterbelakangan
pada
negara ini.

8. Di warung-warung, biasanya KULI
makan
nasi dalam jumlah lebih banyak daripada
kaum eksekutif. Hal ini membuktikan
jika
makan nasi MENURUNKAN kemampuan ekonomi
seseorang.

9. Makan nasi dapat menyebabkan rasa
haus alias MENYERAP air. Padahal tubuh
kita sebagian besar terdiri dari air.

10. Dalam kondisi tertentu, makan nasi
MENINGKATKAN resiko kematian. Misalnya
makan nasi sambil menyetir mobil.

11. Pengidap DIABETES lebih dianjurkan
makan kentang daripada nasi. Berarti
nasi kurang baik bagi kesehatan.

12. Makan nasi menyebabkan keinginan
mengkonsumsi sayur dan lauk. Misalnya
nasi bandeng (nasi + bandeng goreng),
nasi kucing (nasi + kucing goreng),
dsb.
Hal ini bisa menyebabkan obesitas.

13. Nasi mengandung ZAT BESI yang konf
elektron terluarnya 4s2. Zat lain yang
elektron terluarnya 4 adalah Racun
ARSENIK (4p3), Batu batere TITANIUM
(4s2), dan racun yang menyerang
Superman
yaitu KRIPTON (4p6). Ini
mengindikasikan
bahwa nasi punya kesamaan dengan zat-
zat
berbahaya lainnya. (hahaha, jarang2
gini
aku ngerti KIMIA, padahal dulu kimia
SMA
ku cuman 6, Pak!)

14. Kitab suci (samawi) tidak pernah
menyebut-nyebut soal nasi. Para Nabi
juga tidak makan nasi. Lagipula nasi
bukan sesuatu yang dianjurkan agama
sehingga keabsahan penggunaannya pun
belum dapat dipastikan.

15. Nasi DIMASAK dalam suhu lebih dari
100 derajat Celsius. Itu panas yang
cukup untuk bunuh orang.

16.Selain dimakan,nasi juga bisa buat ngelem…hihihihi

Lagu-lagu yg bermasalah..

Balonku ada 5
“Balonku ada 5… rupa-rupa warnanya… merah,kuning, kelabu..merah muda dan biru..meletus balon hijau, dorrrr!!!”
==> Perhatikan warna-warna kelima balon tsb., kenapa tiba2 muncul warna hijau ?
Jadi jumlah balon sebenarnya ada 6, bukan 5 !

Aku Seorang Kapiten
“Aku seorang kapiten… mempunyai pedang panjang..kalo berjalan prok..prok..prok..aku seorang kapiten!”
==> Perhatikan di bait pertama dia cerita tentang pedangnya, tapi di bait kedua dia cerita tentang sepatunya
(inkonsistensi). Harusnya dia tetap konsisten, misal jika ingin cerita tentang sepatunya seharusnya dia
bernyanyi : “mempunyai sepatu baja (bukan pedang panjang)..kalo berjalan prok..prok..prok..” nah, itu baru klop!

Bangun Tidur
“Bangun tidur ku terus mandi.. tidak lupa menggosok gigi.. habis mandi ku tolong ibu..membersihkan tempat tidurku..”
==> Perhatikan setelah habis mandi langsung membersihkan tempat tidur. Lagu ini membuat anak-anak tidak bisa
terprogram secara baik dalam menyelesaikan tugasnya dan selalu terburu-buru. Sehabis mandi seharusnya
si anak pakai baju dulu dan tidak langsung membersihkan tempat tidur dalam kondisi basah dan telanjang!

Naik2 ke Puncak Gunung
. “Naik-naik ke puncak gunung.. tinggi.. tinggi sekali..kiri kanan kulihat saja.. banyak pohon cemara.. 2X”
==> Lagu ini dapat membuat anak kecil kehilangan konsentrasi, semangat dan motivasi! Pada awal lagu terkesan
semangat akan mendaki gunung yang tinggi tetapi kemudian ternyata setelah melihat jalanan yg tajam mendaki lalu jadi
bingung dan gak tau mau ngapain, bisanya cuma noleh ke kiri ke kanan aja, gak maju2!

Naik Kereta Api

. “Naik kereta api tut..tut..tut.. siapa hendak turut ke Bandung.. Sby.. bolehlah naik dengan percuma..ayo
kawanku lekas naik.. keretaku tak berhenti lama”
==> Nah, yg begini ini yg parah! mengajarkan anak-anak kalo sudah dewasa maunya gratis melulu. Pantesan PJKA rugi
terus! terutama jalur Jakarta-Bandung dan Jakarta-Surabaya!

Burung Kutilang
. . “Di pucuk pohon cempaka.. burung kutilang berbunyi.. bersiul2 sepanjang hari dg tak jemu2..mengangguk2 sambil
bernyanyi tri li li..li..li..li..li..”
==> Ini juga menyesatkan dan tidak mengajarkan kepada anak2 akan realita yg sebenarnya. Burung kutilang itu kalo
nyanyi bunyinya cuit..cuit..cuit..! kalo tri li li li li itu bunyi kalo yang nyanyi orang, bukan burung…

Pok Ame Ame
“Pok ame ame.. belalang kupu2.. siang makan nasi,kalo malam minum susu..”
==> Ini jelas lagu dewasa dan untuk konsumsi anak2! karena yg disebutkan di atas itu adalah kegiatan orang dewasa,
bukan anak kecil. Kalo anak kecil, karena belom boleh maem nasi, jadi gak pagi gak malem ya minum susu!

Nina Bobo
“nina bobo oh nina bobo kalau tidak bobo digigit nyamuk”
==> menurut psikolog: jadi sekian tahun anak2 indonesia diajak tidur dgn lagu yg “mengancam”

Bintang kecil
“Bintang kecil dilangit yg biru”…
==> Bintang khan adanya malem,lah kalo malem bukannya langit item?

Doa seorang anak..

Seorang bocah yang sangat ingin melanjutkan sekolah,tetapi orang tuanya
tidak mempunyai uang untuk membiayai sekolahnya. Lagipula ibunya yang
sedang sakit membutuhkan biaya untuk membeli obat. Akhirnya dia
memutuskan untuk menulis surat kepada Tuhan :

Kepada Yth
Tuhan
di Surga

Tuhan yang baik, saya mau melanjutkan sekolah, tapi orang tua saya
tidak punya uang. Ibu saya juga sedang sakit, mau beli obat. Tuhan saya
butuh uang Rp 20.000 utk beli obat ibu, Rp 20.000 untuk membayar uang
sekolah, Rp 10.000 untuk membayar uang seragam, dan uang buku Rp
10.000. Jadi semuanya Rp 60.000*

*
Terima kasih Tuhan, saya tunggu kiriman uangnya.

Dari: Rio

Rio pun pergi ke kantor pos untuk mengirim suratnya. Membaca
tujuan surat tersebut, petugas kantor pos merasa iba melihat Rio,
sehingga tidak tega untuk mengembalika n suratnya. Bingung mau di
kemanakan surat itu, akhirnya petugas pos itu menyerahkannya ke kantor
polisi terdekat.*

*Membaca isi surat itu, Komandan polisi merasa iba dan tergerak
hatinya utk menceritakan hal tsb kepada anak buahnya. Walhasil, para
polisi pun mengumpulkan dana utk diberikan ke Rio, tetapi dana yang
terkumpul Hanya Rp 55.000,- *

*Sang Komandan pun memasukan uang yang terkumpul ke dalam amplop,
menuliskan keterangan: “Dari Tuhan di Surga” dan menyerahkan ke anak
buahnya utk di kembalikan ke Rio . *

*Menerima uang tsb, Rio merasa sangat senang permintaannya
terkabul, walaupun yang diterima hanya Rp 55.000,-. Rio pun
bergegas mengambil kertas dan pensil, dan mulai menulis surat
lagi.

“TUHAN LAIN KALI KALO MAU KIRIM UANG, JANGAN LEWAT POLISI, KARENA KALO LEWAT POLISI DI POTONG RP 5.000,- *

*Polisi: GUBRAKKKK…

Alicia Keys Ft. Jack White – Another Way To Die

I know the player
With the slick
Trigger finger
For Her Majesty
Another one
With the
Golden tone voice
And then your fantasy
Another bill
From a killer
Turned a thrill
Into a tragedy

[Chorus]
A door left open
A woman walking by
A drop in the water
A look in the eye
A phone on the table
A man on your side
Someone that you think
That you can trust is just
Another way to die

Another tricky little gun
Giving solace to the one
That will never see
The sunshine
Another inch of your life
Sacrificed
For your brother
In the nick of time
Another dirty money,
Heaven sent honey
Turning on a dime

[Chorus]
A door left open
A woman walking by
A drop in the water
A look in the eye
A phone on the table
A man on your side
Someone that you think
That you can
Trust is just
Another way to die

Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Another girl
With her finger
On the world singing
do what you want here
Another gun thrown down
And surrendered
Took away your fear
Hey
Another man
That stands right
Behind you
Looking in the mirror

[Chorus]
Oh, a door left open
A woman walking by
A drop in the water
A look in the eye
A phone on the table
A man on your side
Oh,
Someone that you think
That you can trust
Is just another way to die

Maroon 5 – Sweetest Goodbye

where you are seems to be

As far as an eternity

Outstretched arms, open heart

And if it never ends then when do we start?

I’ll never leave you behind

Or treat you unkind

I know you understand, oh

And with a tear in my eye

Give me the sweetest goodbye

That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back

Bring me closer to heart attack

Say goodbye and just fly away

When you’ve comeback, I have some thing to say, yeah

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone

When you get home, home

There must be someplace here that only you and I could go

So I can show you how I

Dream away everyday

Try so hard to disregard

The rhythm of the rain that drops

And coincides with the beating of my heart

I’ll never leave you behind

Or treat you unkind

And I know you’ll understand, yeah, yeah, yeah

And with a tear in my eye

Give me the sweetest goodbye

That I ever, ever, ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back

Bring me closer to heart attack

Say goodbye and just fly away

When you’ll comeback and I have some thing to say, yeah

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone

When you get home, home

There must be someplace here that only you and I could go

So I can show you how I feel, feel, feel, feel

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone

When you get home, home

There must be someplace here that only you and I could go

So I can show you how I feel

Show you how I feel

Show you how I feel

Show I, show you

Show you how I feel

There must be someplace here that only you and I could go

So I can show you how I feel

John Mayer – In Repair

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it’s taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new look upon me
Oh it’s taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

And now i’m walking in a park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me

Oh it’s taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart’s advice
I should assume it’s still unready
Oh i’m never really ready, i’m never really ready
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there
I’m in repair, i’m not together but i’m getting there

Avril Lavigne – I Will Be

There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You’re the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe ’cause you’re here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Hear with me do you see your all I need

And I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

Jordin Sparks – Tatoo

No matter what you say about love

I keep coming back for more

Keep my hand in the fire

Sooner or later I get what I’m asking for

No matter what you say about life

I learn every time I bleed

The truth is a stranger

Soul is in danger I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you (I’ll always have you)

Sick of playing all of these games

It’s not about taking sides

When I looked in the mirror didn’t deliver

It hurt enough to think that I could stop

Admit that I’m wrong and then change my mind

Sorry but I’ve gotta be strong and leave you behind

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you (I’ll always have you)

If I live every moment

Won’t change any moment

Still a part of me in you

I will never regret you

Still the memory of you

Marks everything I do, oh

I can’t waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothings broken (yeah)

No need to worry about everything I’ve done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don’t look back)

I loved you once needed protection (no, no)

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

I can’t waste time so give it a moment (i can’t waste time)

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done (no need to worry)

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don’t you ever look back)

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

I can’t waste time so give it a moment (i can’t waste time)

I realized nothings broken

No need to worry about everything I’ve done (no need to worry)

Live every second like it was my last one

Don’t look back got a new direction (don’t you ever look back)

I loved you once needed protection

You’re still a part of everything I do

You’re on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you

Just like a tattoo

I’ll always have you

Fort Minor – Where’d You Go

Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone.

She said “Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,”
I don’t understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
‘Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin’ my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don’t have much to say,
So, I want you to know it’s a little fucked up,
That I’m stuck here waitin’, at times debatin’,
Tellin’ you that I’ve had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go?”

I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone.
Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone,
Please come back home…

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin’ my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I’m doin’ fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I’ll tell you, I want you to know it’s a little fucked up,
That I’m stuck here waitin’, at times debatin’,
Tellin’ you that I’ve had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go?”

I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone.
Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone,
Please come back home…

I want you to know it’s a little fucked up,
That I’m stuck here waitin’, no longer debatin’,
Tired of sittin’ and hatin’ and makin’ these excuses,
For why you’re not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don’t really know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone,
I guess I’ve had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won’t be here and you can sing it…

Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone.
Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone,
Please come back home…
Please come back home…
Please come back home…
Please come back home…
Please come back home…